Lol! See hilarious definitions to everyday words that will crack you up
So I saw this on Facebook and decided to share.
CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
MARRIAGE: It is an agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master's degree.
DIVORCE: Future tense of Marriage.
LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either of them.
Continue after the cut
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he or she got the biggest piece.
DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes.
ATOMIC BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of, when dead.
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from OLUMO ROCK says midway, "SEE, I AM NOT INJURED YET".
PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy not different from the other, unless he gets caught.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN: Someone who shakes your hand before an election and your CONFIDENCE after the election.
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
CIGARETTE: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end and a fool at the other.
MARRIAGE: It is an agreement where a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master's degree.
DIVORCE: Future tense of Marriage.
LECTURE: An art of transmitting Information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of students without passing through the minds of either of them.
Continue after the cut
CONFERENCE: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
COMPROMISE: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he or she got the biggest piece.
DICTIONARY: A place where divorce comes before marriage.
CONFERENCE ROOM: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
ECSTASY: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
CLASSIC: A book which people praise, but never read.
SMILE: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
OFFICE: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
YAWN: The only time when some married men ever get to open their mouth.
ETC: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
COMMITTEE: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
EXPERIENCE: The name men give to their Mistakes.
ATOMIC BOMB: An invention to bring an end to all inventions.
PHILOSOPHER: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of, when dead.
DIPLOMAT: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
OPPORTUNIST: A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
OPTIMIST: A person who while falling from OLUMO ROCK says midway, "SEE, I AM NOT INJURED YET".
PESSIMIST: A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, instead of the first letter in OPPORTUNITY.
MISER: A person who lives poor so that he can die RICH.
FATHER: A banker provided by nature.
CRIMINAL: A guy not different from the other, unless he gets caught.
BOSS: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
POLITICIAN: Someone who shakes your hand before an election and your CONFIDENCE after the election.
DOCTOR: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.
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